i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Randomize
