i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
