how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
