Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
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Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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