I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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