Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
