he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
