So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
