you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
