he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
