every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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