after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
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I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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