A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
