You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
