As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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