Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
