well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
