Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Randomize
Follow @tfln