I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
