awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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