There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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