He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize