WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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