super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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