The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i barfeds in our rink
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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