but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
