Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
