yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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