haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize