I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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