You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
