i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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