I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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