We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize