whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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