why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
