Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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