i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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