This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room