her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent