i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.