do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.