and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
