I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
