my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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