the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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