I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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