Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
