Ambien. No doubt about it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize