cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
