So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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