I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
