she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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