i don't like sucking hair
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize