so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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