Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
