he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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