how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
