she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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