theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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