FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
