you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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