Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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