im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
