stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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